Purgatory and Tan Lines

Hello forum! I hope you didn’t have too bad of a Single’s Awareness day. I spent the day taking care of the Vanden Bos’ dogs, so I was not alone. I had my bitches with me. (Yeah, I know lame joke.) Remind me never to get a dog because they shed everywhere. You are constantly cleaning after them, and they crave attention 24/7. Uhhhh... I can barely take care of myself besides two crazy pooches.

Most recently, I started another semester of school and hopefully, this will be my last semester of the purgatory known as junior college. I’ve enjoyed the year I've spent at Santa Monica College. It has given me time to reflect on my life, and to pursue my eclectic passions. The experience has been meditative, but I'm ready to move on again. I am ever so slowly taking steps towards becoming a videogame programmer. Keep your fingers crossed that I make it into a 4 year university to continue my pursuit.

Since I'm reflecting on my life, I make time to relax every now and then, unlike our ever busy MIT and Stanford students. Sometimes, I take naps out on the quad. I never took advantage of the privilege when I was at Rose, so I’m making up for it now.

It feels so good to lie in the shade of a tree and completely relax. I’m an uptight person who almost never lets his guard down around people. So, when I sleep on the quad, it requires me to let my guard down to relax. It's amazing being surrounded by people, and not worrying about being attacked or what not. It allows me to trust my fellow man. I think the best part of napping outside is starting your sleep in the shade and waking up in the sun. It serves as a reminder that the world is ever changing even while you rest. On top of that, the sun heats your clothes and skin serving as an awesome blanket. The sun heats you evenly all over. The ground underneath provides a comforting contrast with a slight dampness. It's an experience making me feel one with my environment. A simple one hour nap outside feels like a night's worth of rest to me. What makes napping even sweeter here is knowing the East Coast is buried in snow. The only problem with these naps is I'm getting sock tan lines. Ahhhh.. the price of a good nap. Take some time out and enjoy the simple pleasure of sleeping on the grass.

P.S.
Last year, in the month of February, Daniel wrote the epic post of. "I am sick ...and it sucks." I'm amazed at the amount of writing we are putting out this year. We have half the number of posts of the other years, and it's only been two months so far. Good job Andrew, Daniel, *cough*Stephanie*cough*, and me.

Postscript

(from the last post)

Found out I didn't get the internship. The nice lady then proceeded to say "hope you have a great night!" haha...thanks! (Note: I actually did have a pretty sweet night) Can't say I was too surprised though. Certainly disappointed, but I probably wouldn't have given me a job if I were the interviewer. :P

As much as I loved NY, I don't know if that would have been the best place for me. There might be too much fun, excitement, glamor. And I don't know if I am at a point where I am spiritually disciplined enough to continue seeking after J without a supportive community, especially when there are so many other fun things to do (and if I have the money to do them)! Them = going to Broadway shows, eating out, shopping, etc. Get your mind off the gutter. In that sense, I probably would prefer Boston. Feel like Boston has a smaller city feel to it and I also would have the luxury of being *coughjudgedcough* by DK, who could then hold me accountability and introduce me to community. We'll see though. J is a mysterious one and I can only imagine where I'll be led this summer. (Imagining Bain right now. semi-jk)

Just figured I'd post this update so I won't have to explain when I talk to ya'll next. Since I know you are all desperately waiting to hear about my life. Sorry you're going to have to call off the celebratory night you had planned--hopefully the violinists and trumpeters are accomodating; the red carpet is refundable; and the beautiful bikini-clad women can go entertain AB instead. But no emoness here. I have my Snoopy next to me and a leisure book waiting to be read. Life is good. Not great, but good.

NY Reflections

I really need to get out of California soon. Every time I go to the East Coast, I feel like it's so different and new. And no wonder--I've spent pretty much my entire life in PV and PA (does not stand for Pennsylvania), basically twins of each other, separated by 400 miles. So a big city is new. A big city on the East Coast is especially new. It's about time I explore new things!

Anyway, a running list of interesting things from my short trip:

1. Cold! Exhibit A: turning on a faucet is an art. I learned that you can't just turn the cold water on...your hands will be unhappy. Instead, you need a delicate balance between cold and hot water. Either that, or wash your hands SUPER quickly...

2. Cold! Exhibit B: I was excited to visit the famous Central Park. Wandered around until I found it...but it was definitely not what I expected. No beautiful green lawns, majestic trees, or any of that sort. Nope...dirty snow and naked flora. Oh yeah. I forgot leaves fall in the East Coast. Not my idea of a "park," but still beautiful nonetheless

3. Rock of Ages!!! What an amazing musical. Kudos to KH for recommending (and taking me) to go see it. I wish I knew more 80s rock music so I could have appreciated it even more. But still, it was awesome. Can't wait to get the soundtrack. Sooooo good. I can't wait for this new musical to catch fire nationally with tours, and then I can pretend to be high-cultured and showoff that I've seen it already. I love Broadway.

4. New York driving is scary :( I wasn't even driving. Sitting in a taxi cab was enough.

5. NY cab drivers are way less friendly than CA ones. Though I did have a really cool conversation about Islam with the guy who drove me to the airport. I think JS would be jealous.

6. Everything is huge in NY. Never been to Texas, but idk if they can top the huge buildings/stores/overall city life of NY.

7. I like how people are active day and night. I like the noisiness of the street at 3 am. I like how there is traffic at 1 am. I like the city :)

8. People are in such a hurry!!! I thought I walked fast. I guess I do walk fast for a Californian. But definitely not compared to NYers.

9. I made the right call in deciding to wear a white dress shirt to the interview. Few colored dress shirts in sight. Seemed like everyone wore black tops and white shirts. Mildly depressing.

10. It was actually pretty sweet talking to people who had no idea what BCG, Mck, Bain were. Or any idea of what business consulting is. Reminds me that the world is a little bigger than my ever-important life. (Of course, after hanging out with that group of people, I proceed to have brunch with 5 consultants the next morning. fail.)

11. Hooray for catching up with old friends. Sad how it's so much easier to cherish time together when it now takes much more effort to do so. KH and I probably didn't purposely hang out at all in high school. But oh how wonderful it is to have a friendly face in a big city, and how wonderful it is to be able to have someone know me from way back when. Even though we haven't been the best at keeping in touch (totally her fault! jk. we argued about whose fault it was...) and needed some catching up to do regarding what we've been up to this past year or two...we know things about each other that our closest friends at school now probably don't. A different side of things. The glorious beginnings to our current triumphant places in the world.

Overall, a fantastic trip. Everything aside from the actual interview was great. Definitely nice to take a break from the normal weekend at Stanny. Can only hope for the best now--out of my control!

joshua bell

i am in love. it is all andrew's fault. he sent me an article about music and our perception of beauty (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews in case you are interested); the article focused around a musician named Joshua Bell.

love at first sound (whatever the equivalent of sight is in hearing); i really want to hear him live! someone please go with me to carnegie hall to hear him play sometime.

Home

I remember Alex and Daniel once debating what "home" meant. I don't remember the conclusions, other than the fact that Daniel's home is not Hawaii. Period.

This past week, I've really realized how important and valuable "home" is to me, no matter how you define it. I've been so busy running around doing interviews, making business-related calls on the phone, and toiling in group projects that I really haven't had much of a chance to just sit back at home and have personal space. It's SO important for me to have my own time/space. I think this year is the first time at Stanford when I have truly felt that I have a place to call "home." Having no roommate, no chaotic running around outside the halls has been...relieving. Don't get me wrong--I've had positive experiences with roommates and dorm life. I do miss quite a few aspects of that. But I'm generally much more of a "I need my space" type person. I like just opening the door, changing into PJs, and turning on the TV ... all the while knowing that no one can bother me once I'm home. It's not even just the fact that I have tons of good memories of this studio. It's more the sense of overwhelming comfort. My own space behind closed doors. I think I could even feel at "home" in a hotel room (as long as my suitcase is unpacked). Home to me is about private space. Where I can lie around in boxers and watch TV. Where I can have the heater or fan on without worrying about my preferred temperature bothering other people. (I'll reconsider this once I pay for my own utilities.) It's about being a little messy, but knowing that that mess is caused by me so I'm not grossed out by the germs/dirtiness. And I need this time at home. It's where I can get my me-time.



Author's note: In case you were wondering, no I do not have a date for Valentine's Day. Surprised?

The True 100th Post - Star Wars

After my debacle of mixing up the number of posts published and post written, this will be the true 100th post. And what a better way to commemorate the 100th posting, but by talking about a movie that changed the world: Star Wars.

I was recently searching for movie reviews by one of my favorite critics, James of Cinemassacre, better known as the Angry Video Game Nerd, when I stumbled across this review he did on Star Wars. The review reminded me how important Star Wars is in the history of film and how it will change with the next generation of movie enthusiasts.

We almost all saw Star Wars at an early age, and it made a lasting impression upon us. I remember drawing Boba Fett all the time with my friend Brian Woods in the third grade. At the time, nothing could be cooler than having a jetpack and an awesome helmet.

The fight scenes and special effects blow us away. Watching the X-wings make their run on the Death Star is as exciting today as it was when I was a little kid. We rarely see so many interesting, fantastical characters as in the Mos Eisley bar scene. Everything seems so familiar, but at the same time so new.

Star Wars pays tribute to history, genres of films, and archetypal adventure. If you have ever seen an archetypal journey chart(i.e. ordinary world, call to adventure, refusal to the call, meeting with the mentor, etc.), the first film follows it exactly. It is the classic adventure story.

Much of Star Wars follows the Akira Kurosawa film Hidden Fortress, which tells the story of a princess leading rebels against an evil empire. It begins with the perspective of two peasants just like how Star Wars begins from the perspective of two droids.

The bar scene in Mos Eisley is reminiscent of the old Westerns. The bar has an edgy atmosphere where a fight can break out at anytime. Luke runs into a little trouble with the bar natives who don't like him because of his face. A bar fight ensues which Obi Wan saves him from. We even have a quick draw between Han Solo and a bounty hunter proving brains and skill will get you out of a tight situation.

The rise of a dictatorship from a democracy is like that of the rise of Julius Caesar. There is a biblical allusion to the birth of Anakin Skywalker. Even the beginning of the film with the "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" is the classic fairy tale opening "A long time ago in a kingdom far, far away". Star Wars is a mash up of all of the greatest stories ever told. No ideas are original, but George Lucas takes these ideas and turns them into something slightly new.

Now, how will this change for the next generation of viewers? We have seen the movies in the order of 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, and 3. But what will the next generation think if they watch the series in chronological order? They will not be shocked by the reveal of Darth Vader as Luke's father. To me at a young age, this twist blew my mind. I couldn't believe it, and for the next generation, they will have been waiting for the reveal since Episode 3.

They will see Darth Vader more as a tragic hero instead of as one of the most bad ass villains of all time. In fact, by knowing he's a tragic hero, Darth Vader's switching of sides in Episode 6 will be less powerful. Not to mention, the unveiling of his face was one of the biggest moments for me as a kid. I didn't know what to expect.

George Lucas has made little changes between the editions like including Jar Jar Binks voice in the celebration scene in the end of the sixth episode. Or putting in more CG scenes like trying to make Mos Eisley more realistic. There's a charm to the old videos knowing that everything you see has been reproduced in real life with puppets and camera tricks.

Much of the power of the Star Wars story line depends on how you reveal the story. Will you choose to show the film in chronological order or in the order they were made? Will you show the original film on VHS or go to the DVD? How would you show Star Wars to your children? (Pretend for the two of our blogists who refuse to have children.)

The Future of Soccer

The other day I was channel surfing, and I came across a gaming channel. The game they were playing was Fifa on the computer from what I could tell.

If you have ever watched a Star Craft tournament, it was very much like that. Two teammates play on one system, working together to crush their opposition, who sit at another system on the other side of the room. The team's consisted of blurry eyed Asians staring at their screens with a focus you normally see them direct at textbooks. They even wore the team shirts of the soccer teams they represented: Manchester United and Real Madrid.

The thing that truly disgusted me was the commentary. The commentators treated the tournament as if it were the real sport. Let me give you idea of what I witnessed.

"Ronaldo is dribbling down the field, but he has two men on him. Oh, he's crossing it and OH MY GOD, it's off the crossbar."

"It looks like we have an offsides, Jim. I don't know if that call is correct, but this is a computer, so I guess we'll have to accept it. There are problems with programming sometimes though."

"Manchester United is looking really strong today. Their footwork is impeccable in losing their defenders. I'm sure we'll see more interesting gameplay in the second half when both teams are warmed up."

"We have some incredible players on the field and I can't wait, Jim."

Really? Really? They argued about whether the computer judged the offsides correctly. They were talking about the dribbling down the field as if it was really happening. Congratulations! You pushed the arrow key in the correct direction. They talked about footwork, and discussed each goal in detail. They questioned whether the teams were getting warmed up properly. It was disgusting.

The actually playing of soccer is more difficult because of the physical prowess necessary to play the game. You almost have to be picked by God to play in the professionals. I remember a boy I played with who had practiced his skills to perfection, but his body was so weak he could only play half of the time.

The sport requires the entire body and mind to work as one to execute the tactics necessary to score on the opponents. The player cannot see the whole field, and he can only hope his 9 other teammates are doing what they should be. The body has to be capable to play at the level. Any athlete should be acknowledged on their physical prowess.

Computer games only require a sharp mind and fast fingers to exploit the programing. They often only consist of teams of 2. The morale of a team is not affected in computer games. Instead of relying on gut shots, one relies on the mathematics written into the game. Any hack with enough time and patience can pick up the controller and master it. I fear that someday this may become the future of soccer. As people get more overweight, people will play the computer game that gives them the illusion of playing the game perfectly instead of the real game.

I don't know. Watching the gaming network made me think.

Perchance to Dream

I am alive, forum! By the power of fried chicken and an In 'n' Out burger, I finally have the energy to blog again. I was sick for the past week. I delivered a speech to my public speech class, which quickly turned it into a public humiliation class. After a humble ride home, I crawled into bed and slept for 12 hours straight. I awoke to read some manga and Norman Mailer's "The Naked and the Dead" for 5 hours and passed out for another 12 hours. With the sleep, I've had plenty of opportunity to dream of blog topics to talk about.

"To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream." Now, for the well-read, perhaps you may recognize the Shakespeare quote. It comes from the "To be or not to be" soliloquy by Hamlet. (Stop being a Hamlet, Andrew! Sorry, it was too good to pass up.) The phrase "Perchance to Dream" has been used as a title for a Twilight Zone episode, and even a Batman: The Animated Series episode. Both episodes challenged my perceptions of dreaming.

I watched the Batman: The Animated Series episode when I was about 10 years old. Bruce Wayne discovers himself in a life where he isn't Batman. His parents are alive. He's getting married to the love of his life Selina Kyle, who you probably know as Catwoman. In fact, there is another Batman protecting the city. He has a hard time relinquishing the drive to protect people, but he finally starts to settle into his peaceful life. He sits down to read the newspaper, but he can't. The text is all gibberish. In a frenzy, he flees his house and goes to the cemetery to confront Batman because Bruce knows Batman knows what is going on. I don't want to give away the ending, but needless to say, the ending for this episode blew my 10-year-old mind. I found the episode in parts on YouTube: part 1 and part 2. I think this a must-see for the Batman fan.

The Twilight Zone episode appeared more than 30 years earlier, and it contains another thought-provoking message about dreaming. A man goes to a psychiatrist to help him with a problem. The man has a weak heart, so he can't do anything too stressful. In his dreams, he is visited by a woman who makes him take thrilling rides, which make his heart want to burst. He knows the next time he falls asleep, it will be his last. Another incredible ending which will make you think. If you ever have the opportunity, I suggest you watch it. Sorry, I couldn't find the episode on YouTube for you.

Now, I've talked about two television series and their mischievous dealings with dreams. How does this concern me? Whenever I get sick, I have a perchance to dream.

In the 7th grade, we were required to read a book called "The Hero and the Crown". I was running a fever, so I was lying in bed trying to keep up with school work. I was reading the book, but I kept fading in and out of reality. The forest and shrubbery became more than words, I had become one with the book. I will never forget the description of the man's skin as "milky-white". It was all so vivid. Think Avatar 3-D, and kick it up a couple of notches. Unbeknownst to me, my fever had run up to 106 degrees. My mom rushed me to the emergency room, and I was fine.

Ever since, when I'm sick, I have a tendency to dream. Unlike "The Hero and the Crown" incident where I was forced into the book, I tend to have the capability to experiment with my dream. I was reading "The Naked and the Dead" which takes place in World War II in the Pacific campaign. I dreamt of the Pacific beaches that had to be stormed, how a life is held so precariously by Chance as a soldier creeps through the jungle growth, and attitudes of the men. I erase the story as I go, making it my own. It's a weird experience I cannot describe.

My manga chapters led my dream to wander in metropolises overrun by demons and their hunters. It was very reminiscent of Blade Runner. Santa Claus was on the corner trying to give Christmas cheer to the neo-tropolis. The style of dress was terse like the people who wore them. Action scenes unfolded in my mind. Each thrust and parry of the hunter's sword were performed to perfection. Vapor trails of bullets laced the scenery making into a grim artistic display of death. All of this played out in my mind while I rested. In fact, my dreaming is part of the reason for my long hours of sleeping. I want to see the ending. So, I sleep, perchance to dream of the next story.

Author's Note:
I did some reviewing of the forum, and would you believe I was wrong about the 100th post. We had written a 100 posts, but we hadn't published all of them. So, I guess you can say, I screwed up.

If you are interested in the endings for the Twilight Zone and Batman episodes, I can publish them in the comments section. Let me know if you want to hear more.

So, do you guys dream often? Stephanie told me she doesn't.

Night Shift

Nighttime is so different. Everywhere.

Went to downtown Palo Alto (aka one street) on Saturday for my birthday. Night life is weird. Restaurants turn into bars. Rich, yuppie professionals become rowdy bar hoppers. Gone are the annoying little kids. They are replaced by annoying big kids. Yet I can still see the appeal in night life.


Took a nighttime walk around campus yesterday. So peaceful and quiet. The church was especially beautiful. No bicycles zooming by, no swarm of camera-touting tourists. Though people were toiling away inside the buildings. Especially the math building. But even some of the humanities buildings! (No offense).

Today: Grocery run at 12:51 a.m. Empty streets, empty parking lot. The Safeway plaza was brightly lit, but no one in sight. So strange. Happily shopped for my goodies with no one in my way. No one, that is, except for the night crew restocking and rearranging shelves. That was somewhat of a nuisance. But I made sure to be extra polite. Working at 1:02 a.m. in Safeway isn't ideal. Productive grocery run. Fresh fruits and veggies! I've been feeling lethargic and gross lately, and I realized that I haven't eaten very well. Stupid interviews, psets, and conference calls get in the way of quality food.

I like the night shift. Especially when it doesn't entail working "overtime."

Silence is Golden

No, I am not making a pun on our blog's name. "Silence is Golden" is a song that was originally performed in 1967 by a British group known as The Tremeloes. The Tremeloes was one of the British groups that tried to make the transition to the American music industry. During their tryouts in the United States, they actually beat out The Beatles for an audition to tour with a famous imitation group, but I guess you could say The Beatles got the last laugh since not many remember The Tremeloes.

"Silence is Golden" made it to the #1 spot on the UK charts and the #11 spot on the U.S. Billboard top 100. My mom claims the song reached the #1 spot for the Los Angeles area, so I bet it's that damn Midwest that prevented the song from reaching the coveted #1 spot on the billboard.

All of the band members were strong singers, so they have heavy harmony throughout the song. It's difficult to identify the lead singer because the lead seems to jump around the group creating an emphasis on certain words. In my opinion, this simple harmony truly enhances the song. It's a sound you don't hear often in today's music which emphasizes strong soloists who prefer to sing all over the place to show their range. *cough* Mariah Carey *cough*

The reason this song stood out to me was the lyrics. It's a song that has a romantic longing feeling. This man is watching the love of his life getting cheated upon. He can't bear the thought of telling her because he doesn't want to see her cry. Besides, he knows she won't believe him. So, he looks on as his love loves another who is being unfaithful to her. He would like to do something, but all he can do is remain silent. For this reason, silence is golden.

There are rich emotions in this song. It's a complicated situation where there is no correct action. I can only imagine what the guy is feeling. He wants to tell her, but at the same time, he is conflicted. Is he telling her out of love? Or out of selfishness to have her for his own?

Even though the cheater is the real one at fault, often times, the messenger is blamed as well. She may living a dream, but to wake her from it would be just as harsh. The singer knows this, and he can't hurt her by revealing the truth. It's quite a conundrum: to have her be happy in ignorance or know the truth.

I, especially like how he is reminding himself not to break his rule of not telling her. "Mind your business, don't hurt her, you fool." He knows it's foolish to love someone who is already taken, but he can't help it. And to watch them hurt themselves is unbearable. Only the insane or those in love torture themselves like this.



If the video doesn't work, click here to hear song.

Lyrics

Oh, don't it hurt deep inside
To see someone do something to her
Oh, don't it pain to see someone cry
Oh, especially when someone is her

Silence is golden, but my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

Talking is cheap, people follow like sheep
Even though there is nowhere to go
How could she tell, he deceived her so well
Pity, she'll be the last one to know

Silence is golden, but my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

How many times will she fall for his line
Should I tell her or should I keep cool?
And if I tried, I know she'd say I lied
Mind your business, don't hurt her, you fool

Silence is golden, but my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

Any thoughts on the song? What would you do? Would you watch in silence?

Author's note:
I wouldn't tell her because I'm a coward, as we all know.

documentation

when you look on facebook, it is amazing how many photos are up there. i just looked at a facebook recruiting pamphlet (yes facebook recruits at mit for software engineers) that claims that 1 billion photos are uploaded to facebook each month. and i bet that the number is only increasing. which suggests to me that in fact, more and more of our lives are being documented. whether by photos, or videos, or other methods, our lives are increasingly becoming visible to the public eye.

now let's extrapolate that. this trend suggests to me that there may be some point in the future, where your entire life may be recorded, for posterity (including your future self) to review and enjoy. of course, i would imagine that you wouldnt review your whole life, or there might be times where you'll turn the "camera" (whatever the equivalent technology may be at that point in time) off. but it is interesting to me that we want that record so much. don't ask me what that suggests. but aiyah, what a world we may be living in 20 or 30 years from now...

Post 100

We have finally made it to the legendary 100th post. CONGRATULATIONS! It's only taken four of us nearly two years to do it, but we did it. Let's hope we can get the next 100 posts faster. I wish I had an amazing topic to talk about to commemorate this moment, but I don't. I do, however, have a music suggestion.

For the past two days, I've been writing college transfer essays. The universe needs to be in just the right order for me to concentrate for that amount of time. I guess you could say I'm no Daniel or Stephanie. One way I get into the mood to write is listening to soothing music. This can range from lonely songs (Thanks Andrew! I still listen to the album to this day.), classical music, or bossa nova.

Bossa nova is the evolution of the samba. It has less percussion in the background and it has complex harmonies to make it very smooth. This is often compared to "cool jazz". Bossa nova originated in Brazil and echoes the sunny, beach towns in which it was developed. The first Bossa nova song to have international success is the song "The Girl from Ipanema". You would have heard this song if you watched Wayne's World II or The Blues Brothers. (I summarized this poorly and will edit this later.)

Well, Jessica Hoey gave me a CD of a Japanese-Brazilian bossa nova singer, Lisa Ono. Ono has an interesting history of living in Tokyo for half the year, and Rio de Janeiro for the other half. If you hear her smooth vocals and perfect pronunciation, you would never guess she was mixed. The music is soothing beyond belief. If you ever have the luck to get her CD, NAIMA ~ Meu Anjo ~, I suggest you get it. It truly is an experience, and as far as I know, none of you guys listen to this style.