Remodel: April 2009

I was staring at the blog and realized we had been looking at the same brown wallpaper for a half a year. Being the designer that I am, I decided to spice it up and change it to a nice blue color. I hope you enjoy it and if you don't like it, you can always change the layout yourself. I just wanted to make sure you guys didn't think some hacker had changed our settings because as you know, we are soooooo important. Peace out!

The Elusive Peep

Since it was Easter only a week ago, I thought I might share with you the tale of the elusive peep. Every Easter thousands, no, millions of peeps are produced to sate the sugar lust of Americans. Peeps are the little marshmallow chicks covered in sugar found in the bright pastel box named "Peeps". With the industry's success, the business has expanded upon its traditional yellow and pink marshallow chicks.

During Halloween, Peep ghosts, cats, and Jack-o-laterns will give you the ability to scare your parents with the sugar rushes they give you. During Valentine's, one may give their loved one a sugar delight with Peep hearts and teddy bears. If you can't seem to muster the energy to by joyful during Christmas (or Hanukkah), a Peep snowman will cheer you right up.

Now, two years ago, I was going to a Goo Goo Dolls concert with Jessica. Before we went into the building, she decided to share with me these Peeps she had just purchased. They were a special kind of Peep, a chocolate Peep. I bit off the head of the chocolate marshmallow bunny and BAM! My mouth was treated to a sugary orgasmic gustatory delight. It was the perfect blending of a s'more: chocolate and marshmallow coexisting as one. It was like I was eating Hershey's cocoa powder straight out of the hot chocolate package, but with the soft caress of the marshmallow aftertaste to leave me with an afterglow.

These Peeps were amazing and thankfully, Jessica gave me more than one. I asked Jessica where she had purchased them and she said it was some drugstore near Kaiser Permanente. After the concert, I drove to every drugstore within a 15 mile radius of Rancho Palos Verdes and couldn't find these delectable Peeps. Upon closer inspection of the empty box, I realized the box said "Limited Edition". I searched the internet for these Peeps and found a place which would ship me a box of these Peeps for ten dollars. Regrettably, my own schiestiness got in the way and I refused to pay these exorbitant fees.

I've seen the Peeps website and see they have adapted a new "chocolate mousse" flavored Peep and I can only hope it is the same recipe as my chocolate Peep. So, ever since that fateful day, every Easter season, I search the local drugstores for the elusive chocolate Peep which will stop my cravings.
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On another note, I was playing Tetris today and I got a high score. When posting my name on my high score board, it also asks for a quote. Apparently, the last time I seriously played Tetris was sophomore year because my quotes were "Tetris is better than EHAP" or "I'm so lonely. I have nobody". Awwwww, little emo Sophomore me was so cool. That would also explain why I would stay up all night before a EHAP test.

Goodbye Apathy?

I realized that I haven't posted in a while....and since I REALLY don't want to deal with the statistical mechanics of riboswitches, I've decided to write a post. I will start off by asking you guys, what are you passionate about in life? For me, this question seems very disconnected and remote from my life right now. In high school, I remember being so passionate about becoming a doctor and help people heal from their ailments. While I still do want to become a doctor, that initial passion has definitely simmered inside of me. While laying in bed today, I realized that I'm fairly apathetic to most things going on around me. I really don't care or have any strong opinions on issues as small as campus dining to something as large as sustainability and energy conservation (for example). And even more looming, is the question, why DID I want to become a doctor in high school? I realized that I just go through the same routine- eat, sleep, study, and dance-every single day. There is really nothing I'm motivated or passionate about, and this kinda scares me for some reason. I guess I don't want to live without a purpose in life, and now I'm realizing I haven't found that purpose yet. Let me know if anyone is going through this same phase, because it'll make me feel so much better knowing that other people are going through the same issue as me!

School Boredom

I had some extra time before class started today, so I decided to count how many times each one of us has blogged since the conception of our blog. I did not count rough drafts, which had not been posted because most of the time they got assimilated into other posts. I am ashamed to say, but Andrew has posted more stuff on here than all the other three of us combined. The total comes down to:
Andrew: 30
Daniel: 10
Xyle: 10
Stephanie: 7
I just thought I'd just give credit to the man who's kept this thing alive. Good job Andrew! You have no life. (Of course my life is spent on much more important things like videogames and anime, whereas I guess Daniel and Stephanie are trying to cure rat cancer.)

20/20

Yesterday, Andrew and I, being the sophisticated individuals we are, were having a very serious debate..... about women. We were discussing the positive and not-so-positive attributes of the women we knew. Most of the time, we came to a general consensus of the overall attractiveness of the girl. However, whenever we reached a girl we have a crush on or had a crush on, our opinions would be drastically different. If we currently liked the girl, the opinion was too positive making the girl seem more desirable than she really was. And if we no longer had a crush on her, the opinion was too negative making her seem lower than the dirt on the underside of our shoes. Somehow, our emotions were affecting our most unbiased decisions of the attractiveness of women. Upon further examination, we diagnosed these conditions, so other people would not fall victim to these severe cases of biasness. The first condition will be known as "lover’s blindness” or "crush glasses".

Those affected by "lover’s blindness" see only the positive attributes of their loved one many times amplified. Simple brown eyes are suddenly captivating pools of crystal which a lover can drown in for hours. The gentle personality of the girl can now only be compared to the disposition of Mother Teresa. Bootylicious is now used to describe an otherwise normal backside. These glasses distort the perception of the lover to make the crush seem like a goddess.

Why do you think the first few weeks of a relationship are the best? “Lover’s blindness”. Because the victim can’t see the faults, he thinks his girlfriend is perfect. They blissfully love each other until one day “lover’s blindness” begins to wear off. The second condition comes into play: “wrinkle awareness” or "crushed glasses".

“Wrinkle awareness” has the exact opposite effect of “lover’s blindness”. The positive attributes are forgotten and negative ones take their place. Like a pristine portrait which upon closer inspection has the tiniest wrinkle running down the middle of it. In fact, the little wrinkle just seems to get grow every day until the picture must be thrown out. Likewise, the captivating eyes of a lover are no longer as important as the huge nose obstructing her face. And the victim doesn’t know how to explain it. The nose never seemed that big before, but now that they are aware of it, it’s huge! The sudden change in awareness causes the victim to exaggerate the now-so-obvious faults.

The only treatment for wrinkle awareness is self awareness. The wearer must realize they are seeing through a lens of negativity, which magnifies the faults of the once pristine goddess. Only by tempering one’s point of view through practice of lover’s blindness and wrinkle awareness can one achieve optimal 20/20 vision again and judge the beauty of women accurately.

(Writer’s note: Yes, Andrew and I are shallow and are only perpetuating sexism. But are we the ones to blame for it? First ask yourself why girls dress like hoes then you may destroy us with a 2x4. But to further plead our case, we are simply artists looking for creatures who exemplify beauty and grace. We cannot be hindered by biasness, so like the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood before us, we are establishing a standard of beauty and can't be stopped by little things like sexism or feminism. Long live beauty/hotness!)

Future Women of America

The blog has been dying, so I've decided to post something just so Andrew isn't the only one trying to resuscitate it .
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Today I was cleaning my room and lo and behold I found an old e-mail from a girl, who I almost had a relationship with. No, I'm not trying to disprove the last twenty years of solitude in my life was by my choosing. (It was merely a series of unfortunate events. Too bad this title is already taken because I really could write a series about my life.) The interesting part of the e-mail isn't what she wrote, but what Daniel and I wrote about it.

First, I should clear up why Daniel would be looking at this e-mail at all. I being at the tender age of 17 needed a mentor to help me write back an appropriate response. I needed a wise man and I thought Daniel would be an appropriate role model because as we know, Daniel has soooo much experience. (Later on, this mistake would cost me dearly by destroying my chance with another woman. But THAT is a different story.)

He and I, being the sensitive men we are, analyzed the e-mail as if it were a piece of literature. We tried to see it from the female perspective, so we might be able to figure out what she was thinking and respond accordingly. We have the subject "Us" circled trying to ascertain why she would want to choose such a personal pronoun. Maybe it was a sign of the growing union between us? We even have a misspelled "Sooo" underlined to emphasize her reluctance to leave for that summer. Needless to say, he and I studied the three lines of text for many hours to try and plot the female infrastructure.

Finally, after analyzing the text for the writer's emotional state, we finally started working on a response. We kept the vocabulary casual, but just for shock effect, we added a semi colon because we know girls love grammar buffs. Grrrrr... baby would you like to see a colon used properly? One of the initial lines was "I'll be sure to call you." Upon a second review, we scratched out "be sure to" because perhaps the language was too strong for the gentle female. The carefully constructed e-mail was completed and sent. Surely, this would enflame her passion to wait to be together again at the end of summer.

I thought I would blog about this because finding this rough draft gave me a good laugh; the hours Daniel and I used to ponder how to "properly" talk to a member of the opposite sex. In actuality, the only weak, indecisive women around were us. You want to know what happened to my potential girlfriend. That summer, she found another guy and made out with him. Later on, it turned out he was gay. There goes all those hours of sensitively constructing an e-mail. I should have tossed aside these romantic ideas and just made out with her. GAH! Oh well, at least I have hilarious memories of sitting in my '92 Camry with my friend penning down the perfect e-mail response to a girl.