simple math

Judging by time alone, I'm 64% of the way done. I've taken 75% of required classes for my major. 78% if you count the ones I got AP credit for. I've taken 83% of GERs. I've completed 76% of the required 180 units to graduate. And it's a bit frightening.

It's funny how we take things for granted. How things always look better in retrospect. How it's so common to start panicking once you realize that you might lose something that was once un(der)valued. I wouldn't say that I was fully ungrateful for my college situation. I understood the opportunities available. My shoulders would straighten up a bit when replying, "Oh I go to Stanford University" when asked. The prestige that comes along with the school with a silly mascot was quite apparent. Heck, I even had fun sometimes. What a concept!

But through it all, I found it hard to declare with abandon that I was truly enjoying myself, that I liked my time at school. A lot of it has/had to do with my recently-admitted regret at not going to a particular school on the East Coast that I had my sights on as a high school senior. Whenever things would go wrong, I would instantly lament my college decision.

I still have trouble embracing and rejoicing the fact that I'm here, I believe that I am finally moving in the right direction. For one, I've increasingly come to believe that God wanted me here, for reasons I can only somewhat understand at best. But it might be even more basic than that. Simple, really. Who knew that all you had to do was throw some job applications in my way, and I'll start enjoying college life? As I am considering options for post-graduation and cranking out cover letters to firms that allow me to apply this recruiting cycle, I suddenly realized how my time left here is limited. So I started to enjoy it.

I've always viewed school as a means to get to the real world. Study hard and you will be rewarded in the future. Just a stepping stone that can't be sidestepped. And every attempt to stop and enjoy the journey has hitherto failed. But as the stones are running out, and I'm nearing my destination (i.e. either unemployment or making bank), things changed. The stones don't feel as hard or cold anymore, while the destination looks a little more intimidating that I imagined. Believe me, I still want to get off that path. Just not as urgently.

And while my plans to graduate early will continue to impede on certain plans to enjoy the journey (like taking random classes), I have started looking to take advantage of opportunities available to us only as college students. After all, my college student status won't last forever. I can do the math.