Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Goodbye Apathy?
I realized that I haven't posted in a while....and since I REALLY don't want to deal with the statistical mechanics of riboswitches, I've decided to write a post. I will start off by asking you guys, what are you passionate about in life? For me, this question seems very disconnected and remote from my life right now. In high school, I remember being so passionate about becoming a doctor and help people heal from their ailments. While I still do want to become a doctor, that initial passion has definitely simmered inside of me. While laying in bed today, I realized that I'm fairly apathetic to most things going on around me. I really don't care or have any strong opinions on issues as small as campus dining to something as large as sustainability and energy conservation (for example). And even more looming, is the question, why DID I want to become a doctor in high school? I realized that I just go through the same routine- eat, sleep, study, and dance-every single day. There is really nothing I'm motivated or passionate about, and this kinda scares me for some reason. I guess I don't want to live without a purpose in life, and now I'm realizing I haven't found that purpose yet. Let me know if anyone is going through this same phase, because it'll make me feel so much better knowing that other people are going through the same issue as me!
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3 comments:
Stephanie, I'm going through the exact same experience over here. Why do you think I left Rose-Hulman? It wasn't because of lack of women or the boring Midwest (though these did play factors in my decision). I simply was not passionate about math or science. I pictured myself several years down the line being frustrated with my work.
I want results right away. I like to be philosophical. I like to play my videogames. I like my English. And chemical and mechanical engineering did not offer me what I liked. A man can only do so many titrations before he goes insane. When I was in my lab testing out a buffer solution, I asked myself, "Do I want to do this?" And the answer was "No".
It's a tough conclusion to come to and I still don't know what I'm passionate about. I've looked at and talked with others about my experience and I think most people aren't happy with their career choices. I think people mostly invest their real time in their families and friends to make up for unhappiness in the work place. It's rare to find someone who loves their job.
The only way I think you can find a job you are passionate for is to do the thing you enjoy and what you enjoy may not be the most prestigious or well paying job. It seems so obvious but to put your pride or your parents' expectations aside is a difficult choice to do what you love is a tough choice to make.
I always considered videogame development a childish dream, but it may be the only thing I've ever wanted to do. A combination of computer programing, English, and entertainment? I've always loved projects and it's my dream to put smiles on peoples faces with the story I've written or the scenes I program. I can't give you any personal advice, but I can tell you want I'm going through.
we are all so emo, save Daniel. Oh well, he'll do something stupid soon to dig himself a grave, right?
Talking about emo, how's the lonely CD working out for you?
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