My Girlfriend for 30 seconds

Background: I haven't really been freely single since the beginning of junior year, and by "freely single" I mean that the following three conditions must be met:
1) No girlfriend
2) No getting over a girlfriend
3) No in the process of getting a girlfriend

Due to this, my buddy Anastasia has developed the misconception that I am unable to function (well) single. She claims that I am much better in a relationship and, to be blunt, suck at being single/always needs someone.

Half due to pride, half due to stubbornness, half due to actually believe it to be true, and a fourth due to not knowing how to do math (more on this later), I vehemently disagreed with Tas and challenged her to a bet: that I would remain single for a long time. Apparently, her definition of a "long time" was a month, and so the bet was on.

She bets that I'll get a girlfriend by the end of the first month in college.
I bet that I wouldn't

Stakes: a medium-sized Yummy Yogurt with one topping (gummy bears, please.)

Semi-digression: I kind of want Boba instead.

Anyway, so she texts me today, and the following is an actual transcript of what transpired.

Tas: Do you have a girlfriend yet?
Me: Omg yeah. Ugh, I thought you had forgotten
Tas: Really?!?
Me: No.
Me: HahaHaha
Tas: I hate you! You should have seen how happy I was!
Me: Thats what i'm here for. Making you happy.

muahahaha.

3 more weeks and I'm one yummy yogurt/boba fatter!

And as for the math, I forgot how to do integrals :( Before you laugh or groan or make strange faces at my incompetence, I haven't seen that squiggly symbol since sophomore year of high school!!! Ugh, if only my prof could give me pity points.