To Dream

It feels kinda illegal that I'm posting twice on this thing within 7 hours, but I just had an epiphany here in little Terre Haute, Indiana. You know, it's one thing to train every moment of your summer to tackle school, to fight back after taking a hard hit. It's completely different when you actually have to do it. Isn't that how life works though? Every day I trained for wrestling was never as tough as the match I was in. There's a moment, a moment ever so slight where you have to question yourself. It's the seed of doubt that asks, "Is it really worth it? Do the rewards really equal the effort you are putting into this?"

I am ashamed to inform you guys. No, I have not been putting the effort I need into this school year. I have been doing what I have always done. I am sliding by, relying on my God given intelligence and not contributing anything to it. I've been too afraid to fess up to it maybe because my friends are so fantastic, so hardworking I want to put on the facade that I work as hard as they do. It's like an ugly blotch on your life, which you want to ignore. In fact, you ignore it until it feels normal.

Like everything in life, if you want it done, you need to have some cojones and just do it, pain and all. Pain is what makes us human. We wouldn't be able to enjoy the rewards we received in life if they weren't infinitely better than the struggle which took place in order to have them.

I received a call from my parents just 10 minutes ago where they berated me for not following through on the contract we established this summer. All I could think was, "Hang up the phone, so I can get back to playing my computer games." That's when the little voice that asks, "Is it really worth it? Do the rewards really equal the effort you are putting into this?" And, it was verbal or anything, but I just knew that the approval of my parents would be infinitely better than any computer game. I know I won't get that approval tomorrow or the week after or even after the first quarter. But, maybe by the end of this year, if I get my act together, I will get that approval. I'm going to end my little epiphany here though I haven't done it the justice it deserves. I think it's time to tackle some O-Chem. BYAH!